Peeta Mellark, Facebook Stalker
by InLoveWithAFictionalCharacter7
Summary: Peeta's daily journal of his somewhat creepy relationship with Katniss.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- I don't own the HG, Peeta, or Kool-aid:(**

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

This is Peeta Mellark. First entry. I have purchased this journal so that I may be able to document my love life more efficiently. I am doing so because I am about to take a huge step in the relationship I am in with the love of my life, Katniss Everdeen.

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><p><em>I ever so slowly but surly push my finger down on the computer mouse. <em>Friend request sent! _It tells me._

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><p>Yes! I did it! I have just sent Katniss a friend request on Facebook! It was about time after all. Now we can take our relationship more seriously. But, now I have to wait. I go to her profile, one of the many things I do on my daily afternoon to-do list.<p>

5:00 Check Katniss' Profile

5:02 Comment on her latest status (Even though it never changes)

5:45 After writing a two page essay on my undying love for her, get some kool-aid. Yum.

5:50 Check Katniss' Profile

5:52 Leave another comment

5:55 Kool-aid re-fill

6:00 View Katniss' Pictures

6:01 Write in Diary about it!

I just added that last one. I only get an hour on my family's computer everyday so this is what I do. Oh no! Its's 5:53! I'm late!

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><p><em>Katniss Everdeen- I hate my life. I hate the Capital. Kill me now.<em>

Nope still not a change.

_Peeta Mellark- HAHA, Katniss, haha. That was so funny, as always, my love. I LOVE YOU!_

It's easier talking to her indirectly...

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><p>Anyways, this is what I do. And now history will have records of it! Not sure why it needs them, but, well, IT DOES, OKAY? Tomarrow I shall repeat this. But, untill then-<p>

-PEETA MELLARK


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer-I don't own th HG, HP, or So Random.**

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

So today, when I woke up I decided that I wasn't able to wait until after school to check Katniss' profile. So I got ready early and ran straight to the computer, but my stupid brother was there! So I punched him and he knocked out cold.

After I hid his body in the coat closet, I went back to the computer and logged on as fast as I could. AND YOUR NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS, but she rejected my friend request! Why would she do that? I have only sent it 347 times, so, why wouldn't she accept it? OMG! I BET SHE THOUGHT I WAS A GIRL! I get it all the time, you know, Peeta's a girl name too.

IF SHE THINKS I'M A GIRL...THEN SHE WON'T KNOW I'M A DUDE AND STUFF! I have to fix this...

-PEETA

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><p><em>Then next day...<em>

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

Today started out pretty promising. I had a plan to talk to Katniss, face to face. Yeah, I know, it's a big leap into our relationship, but she had to know who I really was.

I wanted to appear cool to her, so I climbed into a tree. I saw it in a _Harry Potter_ movie. And so when Katniss walked by I hopped out. Sadly, I'm not the best at landing and I tripped on a pine cone, and fell, face down, right in front of her! EMBARRESING, RIGHT?

So, then I got up, wiped myself off and introduced myself. "Hey Katniss, I need to tell you something," I said right away. She looked around and started to walk away. "Wait! It will only take a minute!" I begged. "Uh, okay." she said.

Then I repeated everything I wrote to her in her comments and explained that, yes, I am a man. I asked if I should send another request. But then I realized,_ she wasn't there._

When I looked up from my flash cards, Katniss was nowhere in sight! _And_ it was dark out! _How long have I been here? _ I checked my customized 65th Hunger Games watch, it lights up the same color as Finnick Odairs eyes (BONUS!). I had been standing there for _6 hours_ talking to myself! SHE MUST HATE ME!

What can I do Diary? Oh, how I wish you could answer me...

-PEETA

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><p><strong>OK, REVIEW! Also if you feel the need to, you can add what you think Peeta should do. After all, Katniss apparently hates him!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Helloooo! I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it! I don't own the HG, Mr. Rogers, (May he rest in peace) or, nope that's it! And a super special thanks to HopeYouLikeIWorkedHard for this amazing idea!**

Dear Diary,

I have come to the conclusion that Katniss hates me. Last night, I cried for like, two hours at the thought of it. I also decided that, I am much better at talking to Katniss via paper. Giggles:) Via is a funny word:)

So today in History class, I'm going to write a little note apologizing to her and asking for her forgiveness. It may say some other things...but that's not the point. So, she sits 4 people down from me, so I need to hand the note to my neighbor. Ah, the fun times I have had with him. Whenever I first met him, I sang him a song. I think he really liked it! Below are the lyrics to the world's greatest song!

_It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood, _  
><em>A beautiful day for a neighbor, <em>  
><em>Would you be mine? <em>  
><em>Could you be mine?<em>

_It's a neighborly day in this beautywood, _  
><em>A neighborly day for a beauty, <em>  
><em>Would you be mine? <em>  
><em>Could you be mine?<em>

_I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you, _  
><em>I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.<em>

_So let's make the most of this beautiful day, _  
><em>Since we're together, we might as well say, <em>  
><em>Would you be mine? <em>  
><em>Could you be mine? <em>  
><em>Won't you be my neighbor?<em>

_Won't you please,_  
>Won't you please,<br>_Please won't you be my neighbor?_

Now, who wouldn't want to be my friend after that? NOBODY! That's who!

-PEETA

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

So the note was passed from one person to another. But then the teacher turned around and the person holding it was caught. I looked to see who it was. GALE HAWTHORNE! Gosh! I hate that guy! In case you were wondering, Gale Fail here is Katniss' BFF. And by BFF I mean best friend forever, _not_ boy friend! Just so we're clear.

So Failure had to go and read my love poem in front of the whole class! Isn't...that...AWESOME? Katniss got to here it out loud, and everybody in the class now fully appreciates my wonderful poetry skills! Here's a copy of my beautiful poem!

Roses are red, I think.

Violets are blue, I think.

But what I know for sure is that, girl, I LOVE YOU! YAY!

Please forgive me, babe?

-PEETA

Great right? So after it was over, everybody, including me started to laugh. I mean, Gale is soooo stupid! So then, the bell rang and went over to talk to Katniss but she ran away! Obviously embarresed that my poetry skills are superior to hers. But it's okay, our relationship will still be fine, I think.

-PEETA

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><p><strong>Oh, gee, what should I do know?, you may be thinking. Here's an idea! REVIEW! And thanks again for that great idea HopeYouLikeIWorkedHard!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Thank you for still reading and reviewing! It really means a lot:) So far I haven't had one negative review! (Let's keep it that way!) And I can't remember who but somebody was wondering if Peeta's friend liked the song; sadly, no. He thought it was creepy:(I wasn't quite sure how Peeta would creep on Katniss this chapter, so it's going to be in Katniss' POV! Hope you like it!**

"He just won't leave me alone, Gale!" I scream at him. We are just about done hunting and are resting to talk.

"I'm sure your just exaggerating, Katniss." He says back.

Oh, if only he knew! When I first got the friend request, I thought it was just some girl accidently sending it. Then I find out who it is and what he wants. It's just not how it works! Seam and merchant people don't date, that's just the way it is. Not to mention being STALKED by a merchant! I mean, _really!_ Why me?

But I do feel bad for the guy. He has no friends; he just thinks everybody likes him. It is quite sad, but not a good enough excuse for that note in class!

"You read the note Gale! You saw how creepy!" I say.

"I thought it was cute!" he mocks me, laughing.

_Gee, thanks._

"Come on Gale! I am being stalked! He's a stalker!" I'm screaming really loud now. He is getting on my nerves! Why won't he listen, both Peeta and Gale!

"WELL, I like to think of myself as more of ah...guardian angel!" Peeta says, suddenly popping out from behind a bush.

"WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM!" I scream at him.

He walks up to me and I try to step away, but he grabs my hand! "Problem, Katniss?" he asks, "No, no. _This_ is called LOVE!" he tells me, gesturing to us.

I snatch my hand away, "GET AWAY FROM ME!" I yell. Then, I pick up my bow, get an arrow and shoot. He hops out of the way _just_ in time. _So lucky! _Then he runs away screaming and crying like a little girl.

I turn around to see Gale, lying on the ground, hand over his mouth, laughing. I roll my eyes and walk away, leaving him there alone.

"Hey! Katniss! Wait! I'm sorry!" he yells, but I know he's lying because he is still smiling, trying not to laugh.

_I am surrounded by morons._

**She wasn't really going to shoot Peeta, she missed on purpose, she just didn't want to admit it to herself:)**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey readers of fanfic! Sorry for the wait! Lots of work to do with Christmas and stuff. Also, I wanted to let you guys know how much I appreciate each comment! And if you like this story I recommend my other story Apocolypse at Pat Catans! It really funny:)But now, Enjoy! (This is Peeta's profile page!)**

Peeta Mellark

Age: 15

Birthday: March 23rd

Sex: Male

Relationship Status- IN LOVE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND KATNISS EVERDEEN!

Interests: Baking bread, icing cakes, watching Katniss (Not stalking)

TV Shows: The Hunger Games, Panem Idol, Dancing with the Tributes

Movies: Titanic, The Notebook, The Last Song, 27 Dresses, The Devil Wears Prada, Funny Girl, Dirty Dancing

Books: Twilight Saga (Team Edward!), To Kill a Mockingjay, The Outsiders, Curious George Rides A Bike

People who inspire me: Justin Timberlake, Zach Efron, Finnick Odair, Barbra Streisand, Brittany Spears, and President Snow

About me: Blonde hair, blue eyes, sexy complextion. I LOOOOOVE Katniss Everdeen! (She's my girlfriend!) I work at my Dads bakery, and have a pet turtle named Shelldon (Get it, get it?)

Comments:

Delly Cartwright- Umm, Peeta, ur a creep

Gale Hawthorne- STAY AWAY FROM KATNISS

Brad DeAnglelo- ur a joke Mellark

Katniss Everdeen- I am not ur girlfriend! I'm calling the peace-keepers!

Haymitch Abernathy- haha! cute kid

Jenna Daily- There are no words:(

Primrose Everdeen- I know a good therapist. When your ready, let me know.

Finnick Odair- Glad to be of asistance!

Delly Cartwright- OMG FINNICK ODAIR! 777-492-3561

Mrs. Everdeen- It's okay Peeta, I'm mental too! I can't even remember my name!

Primrose Everdeen- MOM? UR ON FACEBOOK! oh my gosh...

Effie Trinket - You are as cute as a button, dearist!

Annie Cresta- What is this?

Finnick Odair- This is Facebook, Annie.

Delly Cartwright- SERIOUSLY FINNICK! YOU CAN CALL ANYTIME! 777-492-3561

Madge Undersee**-** Delly, calm down!

Delly Cartwright-NEVER! ONCE AGAIN, FINNICK! 777-492-3561

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for all of the amazing reviews! Soeey if this chapter isn't to funny, I need to make something happen. READ AND REVIEW!**

Dear Diary,

Sorry it's been such a while, I've been...busy, with...stuff. So just the other day, I saw the worst thing in the whole world! I'm still recovering from it! I was walking to Katniss' house when I saw her and Gale sucking on each other's face! I was so hurt and disgusted that I started to cry, then threw up in a bush.

Why is Katniss cheating on me? And with Gale? I understand that he's totally hot and stuff, but he's the kind of guy that will get married and then be all abusive! I can't let that happen to Katniss! She's too pretty!

So, I need to find a way to win her over so she can realize that we're meant for each other! I think I have a pretty good idea...Tomorrow; I am going to sneak into the town's bakery, and steal some cupcakes for her! Smart, right?

Well, until then,

-PEETA

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

DID YOU KNOW THAT MY FAMILY OWNS THE BAKERY? Apparently, they do! When I walked in my dad was all like, "Hey Peeta!"

So, I asked my dad if I could take a few cupcakes and he said yes! So I toke all 26 cupcakes in the display window! Now, you may be thinking, _Oh Peeta your so romantic! Katniss will continue to love you forever and never see Gale again!_ But noooo!

When I went up to Katniss at school, she toke the cupcakes happily, you know her being all poor. Then she looked at them, threw them to the ground and ran away! She was screaming something about it not being cool to trick her like that...? It makes no sense! HELP ME!

-PEETA

**Sorry it's so short...If it works out the next chapter should be in Gale's POV!**


	7. Chapter 7

**READ AND REVIW! I don't mean to be that annoying person, but I would highly recommend reading my other parody, "Apocolyse at Pat Catans". If you like this, then you should love that! Anyways, this is Gale's POV. Enjoy his strange mind! Sorry it's so short though...**

Dear Diary,

So, the funniest thing happened the other day! The word on the street is the Peeta, Katniss' stalker, saw her and me kissing on her porch the other day! YES! Now, I don't mean to be rude, but he was _really _starting to get on Katniss and my nerves.

So, it was about time he found out! Now he will BACK OFF! Or so I thought...

Okay, now this is where it gets good. He brought Katniss in some cupcakes, probley trying to impress her or something. But they were _plastic cupcakes._ Talk about mean, dude. Why would you give a poor girl fake food?

She told me she was so happy at first, because she thought they were real, but then, seeing they weren't, for some reason she lost it. Point two for me!

But then, earlier today, he comes up to me screams at me for "_Ruining his life"_, attempts to punch me, but miserably fails. I cought his hand mid-air and bent it back, braking his wrist. Oops:) My bad.

The only trouble now is the KATNISS feels bad for HIM! And on top of that she is pretty mad at me, saying that, _"I went to far,"_ and "_It's not his fault he's mental,"_ or "_I love unicorns as much as the next girl,"._ Wait, maybe not that last one...

-GALE


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks again for all of the awesome reviews! This chapter is dedicated to Peeta-chu who helped me come up with the concept! ENJOY!**

Dear Diary,

It has been such a long time since I wrote, and I have a good reason why! So, after Gale Fail broke my wrist (!), my mom told me she saw me taking the _apparently _fake cupcakes from our store window. She was so angry she locked me in my room for three days! She put 7 locks on my door and bars over the window!

I didn't get any food at all! Trust me, I would have eaten my bed sheets or a mattress if I had them, but...that's what I ate the last time I was grounded. The only options were myself (I had already eaten my clothing), my computer (NOT a legit option!), or my framed sock that I stole from Katniss' room.

It's just...I was so hungry! I didn't want to! But...I did...I should have eaten the computer...Or the door...or a leg.

So, eventually I was tired of the stomach aches and I broke the frame and shoved that beautiful sock into my mouth all at once! It's my greatest mistake...

I have to go to school now so...

-PEETA

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

SO! I went up to Katniss today to apologize for the whole cupcake thing...I told her I thought that they were real and everything. She didn't look too convinced...BUT! BUTT BUTT BUTT! (Oh wait...) She told me that she told me she was sorry that Gale Fail broke my wrist! THEN SHE SIGNED MY CAST! I GOT HER AUTOGRAPH!

So apparently I am awesome and Gale is still a failure. His plan totally backfired!

And after she signed my cast, she kissed me, got on my unicorn with me, and we rode off into the sunset! Well, that part may or may not be true but _I_ think it happened!

I'm kind of felling good today so I think I will leave a comment on Gale and Katniss' profiles!

-PEETA

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><p><em>Gale Hawthorne- Katniss is mad at me! Stupid Mellark!<em>

_Peeta Mellark- Yeah that's right! SHE'S MINE FAILURE, MIIINNNE! IT WAS ALWAYS ME! Btw, Katniss wanted me to tell you she hates you and to leave her alone and to uhh...Nope that's it:)_

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><p><em>Katniss Everdeen- I hate my life. I hate the Capital. Kill me now.<em>

_Peeta Mellark- Don't worry, my love! I have taken care of Gale Fail for you! OXOXOXOXOX3333333_

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><p><strong><em>REVIEW PLEASE!<em>**


	9. Chapter 9

**HELLO! So for those of you who have seen Twilight know Jasper Hale, right? Well he is played by Jackson Rathbone! AND IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKSON! Welp, I hope you like this chapter...I'm not that happy with it...It gets more funny I promise! READ AND REVIEW! **

**Disclaimer-I do not own A Very Potter Musical...or the Hunger Games.**

Dear Diary,

I thought Katniss had finally realized that she loved me! But today I saw Gale and her giggling by her locker! Stupid power of friendship!

So I have decided that the _only_ way to get Katniss, is to be like Gale. Now, desperate times call for desperate measures, but I know that once Katniss kisses me then she will know that it's me she loves, not Gale Fail!

Here's my plan;

Follow Gale around and learn his failing ways

Kidnap him

Steal his clothes

Be the new and much improved Gale!

Simple as that! Now all I have to do is wait for the right moment!

In other news, my wrist has healed! No more one-armed Peeta! Can you imagine having to live with three limbs? Losing an arm or leg is my worst nightmare! Right next to losing Katniss of course!

-PEETA

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

So after many days of watching Gale this is what I have learned about him;

He calls Katniss, wait for it, Catnip...Stupid right?

He's stupid

He likes Katniss (not as much as me though!)

He can count up to six (I can get up to banana!)

He's a failure

He wears tighty-whities

He has a Mom (CRAZY, right?)

He hunts in the woods with Katniss (I already knew that but I put it here so I don't forget)

I hate him

I hate him

He has brown hair and grey eyes...difficult but I will figure it out

I hate him

He is quite good-looking...but I still hate him

He once set Katniss on fire, moron

He's a moron

He HATES me

I HATE him...did I already say that?

He is a closet Justin Bieber fan

Well, that's all I know for now! I'm working on my Gale costume...it's quite good...it's, _really _good actually! Probabley the best I've ever done!

-PEETA

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	10. Chapter 10

**This is an extra in Katniss' POV while her and Gale are counting there winnings in hunting one day!**

I empty the bag on the ground.

"This is pretty good, we shouldn't need to hunt for a few more days now." I say.

"Yup." Is all Gale says back.

"Hey, can you count these while I go hide my bow?" I ask. Hunting is a lot faster with two people.

"Umm, yeah sure." Gale says, hesitantly. I wonder what's wrong?

"Are you okay?" I check.

"Yes! Totally fine!" he says back, too fast, he's lying. I decide to stay and see what he's up to.

He counts, "One," throws a squirrel aside, "Two, three," two foxes today, he continues, "Four, five, six," putting some more squirrels aside.

"Uhhhh...six...six..."he repeats. What's up?

"Six...and then...uhhh, six, then...?"

"Seven..." I say slowly, how to you foget something like that?

"OH! Yeah! Seven! I knew that!" he says.

"Seven!," he says again, smiling. "NEW RECORD!" he screams doing the chicken dance.

Why? There are no words for what I go through.

Then I see something move. Oh. My. Gosh.

"DANG IT PEETA! I CAN _SEE_ YOU!" I scream.

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Authors Note**

**Dear Readers, **

**I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRY! You have know idea how bad I feel! In case your not aware, there has been some confusion about whether or not this story is finished. Well, it's not! I still have plenty more chapters left in me! But just because of this, I have decided to write a christmas chapter! Is should be on in a day or so if all goes well! Thank you for understanding, if you don't, well...uh...nevermind! I am not quite sure why I put _the end_ on the last chapter, I guess I didn't relize it! So sorry once again!**

**Keep Reading!**

**-**


	12. Chapter 12

**As promised, here's a Christmas chapter! Please enjoy! Special thanks to Peeta-chu for some more amazing ideas! And for those who celebrate it, have a Merry Christmas or a Happy Hanukah!**

Dear Diary,

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why! SANTA CLAUSE IS COMING TO THE DISTRICT 12 MALL! YESSSSS!

So, Santa...greatest person alive...ever. Sorry Katniss, but he's even better then you! I can't believe I just wrote that...I'm going to the mall tomorrow to tell him what I want for Christmas, and, you will never guess what that is!

Katniss, you say? How'd you know! But I will admit, I am quite nervous to be meeting such a huge celebrity. Wish me luck!

-PEETA

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

I am ashamed, so disappointed with myself.

I got to the mall, and guess who was in line in front of me? KATNISS! Well, with Prim, but still! So, I chatted it up a bit with her, than she got pretty angry. She started screaming that she hasn't gotten any holiday shopping done and that I should just leave her alone! WELL!

But then I saw Delly! Yaaay! She is like, my best friend! We talked a while and then I told her to go away because she was wasting my Katniss time with her pointless life.

But when I turned around, Katniss was walking away with Prim! Bummer. But it was my turn to sit on Santa's lap! So I was about to tell him what I wanted, when Katniss turned around and smiled at me, might have even giggled! She must really like me! But then I looked and saw that she was looking at Gale! GOSH!

I must have gotten really excited, and not noticed, because when I got back to the real world, I was face first on the floor! I looked to see some liquid on Santa and myself. I might have, maybe...peed, MAYBE. I'm still not sure, but it was probably some other kid.

So then, everyone started to laugh and Santa walked up to me. I was so excited! Then he whispered in my ear,

"Grow up kid." And then he showed me his middle finger.

So I started to run away while then other kids were pointing at me and yelling, "Peeeeeeeee-ta!" I am very, very ashamed.

-PEETA

P.S. - I am finished with my Gale costume! Mwahahaha!

**Awww poor Peeta! Has anybody else had a bad Christmas experience? Just curious, don't have to answer.**


	13. Chapter 13

**This is just the previous chapter, but in Prim's POV! Enjoy!**

I don't know why I have to see Santa. I know it's not the real guy, just an elf in a costume! But Katniss insisted that I go, she wants me to stay innocent or something.

Oh! Peeta Mellark just came and stood in line behind us! And you can just tell, he has a big crush on Katniss! It_ is_ sad that he had to come alone though...

"JUST...DON'T TALK TO ME!" Katniss yells at him, I yank her arm and whisper,

"Katniss, there's know need to be rude!"

"Uh, right, sorry." She says.

Then Peeta's friend Delly comes up to talk to him! How nice of her! I don't make it obvious, but I listen in on there conversation.

"How's the Finnick thing working out?" Peeta asks her.

"I don't know...He still won't call me or anything...But I signed him up for the sugar cube of the month club for Christmas!" She tells him.

"That's, uhh, great Delly! He'll love it!" Peeta says, he keeps looking over at Katniss and it's clear he doesn't want to be talking to Delly, but my sister. I'll try to help him out.

"Katniss," I whisper, "I think you should talk to Peeta." I inform her. But just then, we are called for our turn to see 'Santa'. The last thing I see is Delly, running away, crying. What is wrong with teenagers?

Katniss waits by the gate for me and I sit on Santa's lap. When he asks me what I want, I replay by saying;

"I want my sister to be open to love again. And for her to be nice to Peeta Mellark, her Facebook stalker."

He is so touched by my generous and lovely Christmas wish that he is speachless. I have that effect on some people. I happily hop of his lap and run over to Katniss.

"What did you ask for?" she says.

"It's a secret." I tell her and put my finger over my lips.

She'll thank me later.

**You know what I would like for Christmas? A review! PLEASE REVIEW! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey everyone! Hope you had a good holiday! Enjoy Peeta as Gale, more descriptions of him to come next chapter! Jenistian, this is for you! Enjoy!**

Dear Diary,

WORST CHRISTMAS EVER! I got the worst presents from Santa! For some reason, he thought that I was into spying? I got rope, some tree cameras, binoculars, and a bunch of other stupid stuff like that! They were the most random gifts I have ever gotten.

The only decent thing I got was a lump of coal! Now _that _is what I call a gift! But other than that... I was simply having a horrible Christmas time:(

Today is the day. I am going to kidnap Gale and win Katniss over! Details to come...

-PEETA

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

IT WORKED!

After I kidnapped Gale Fail it was smooth sailing! I put on my emo wig, my contacts, and my stylish Fail shirt and I was ready to go!

I hacked into his computer, and...Hmmm, maybe I should reconsider that spy gear...Anyways; I hacked into his computer and changed his Facebook status-

_Gale Hawthorne- Wow, Peeta Mellark is just so sexy._

What? I'm allowed to have some fun! After that I emailed Katniss to come to the meadow for a special evening of looove!

I was started to think that she wouldn't come, but, then she did! She laughed a little when she saw me, not sure why, but I think it had to do with _Gale's_ new looks. Then we talked for a while, and then she said she had to go home. But really, I don't care! We have another date tomorrow!

-PEETA

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><p><em>(Rapid movement from the closet and muffled screaming.)<em>

"AWW! SHUT UP, FAILURE!"

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><p><strong>PLEASE REVIEW!<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you for all of the amazing reviews! This is in Katniss' POV! And well...Just read it:)**

Dear Diary,

Today, Gale texted me saying that Peeta has him locked in his closet and to come get him ASAP. But, I'm not too worried. If he didn't take Gale's phone, then he should be fine.

So...I decided to leave him there for a while. Then he gave me a long description that Peeta is dressing up like him in order to win me over...So I'm going to have some fun with it:)

After a very mysterious change in Gale's Facebook status, I got an email from 'Gale' to meet him at the meadow. When I saw Peeta dressed as Gale I couldn't help but laugh! He had on an emo wig, eyeliner, grey contacts, camouflage pants, and a brown shirt that said, "Hey, I'm Gale! Not Peeta...Who's that?" written on it in sloppy white letters.

Then, he screamed, "CATNIP! YOU CAME TO LOVE ME!" Yup, definitely not Gale.

So, we talked for a while, he seemed pretty satisfied that he had tricked me, or so he thought. Then I left.

Eh, I'll rat him out at school.

-Katniss

**Sorry it's so short...I didn't really know what else to put...But you know, that doesn't mean you shouldn't review! Each one is well appreciated!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey everyone! Happy New Year! Sorry it's been a while...I was enjoying a popcorn machine I got for Christmas...yum:) Read and Review! Katniss POV.**

I walked into school and headed for my locker, still laughing to myself thinking of Peeta.

"Catnip!" He screamed as he ran towards me.

It's time.

"Peeta, I'm not a moron! How stupid do you think I am? I know it's you!" I confront.

Then he looks around pretending he didn't hear me, walks away, and comes straight back.

"Catnip!" he says again. Wow.

"YES! I was talking to _you_ just then _Gale!_" I say.

"Katniss, I umm...I can explain!" Then he starts to tell me of how Gale told him to cover him while he was away. I have to admit, he was a good liar, but still.

"Peeta, where could he have gone? We are trapped in District 12!"

"Yeah...I know, but he is uhh, visiting a good friend! He won't be in school for a while...he he." He laughs nervously.

"Do you consider Gale your good friend?" I ask.

"Yes! Yes I do!" he says, too bad it's a trap.

"So, he's at your house?" I say, stepping closer, it seems to be making him a little nervous.

"YES! Wait, no! Wait, okay, you got me..." he admits.

"Peeta, can you please just leave me alone?"

"What?" He says as if what I'm asking is impossible. "I can't do that!"

"Ugh! I wish I could just sell you on eBay!" I scream.

"Katniss, you can sell me on eBay," he says

"Really?" I ask, excited.

"I'm not done, but you can't sell our LOVE!" he finished.

OMG. "GOSH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I scream.

"So is our date for tonight still on-"

"SHUTUP!" I yell.

"Shutting."

* * *

><p>(Peeta)<p>

Dear Diary,

Katniss is upset with me! What can I do! I think she knew that I wasn't Gale...But somebody else might have told her my plan.

_Shoot. _I FORGOT TO TAKE FAILS PHONE!

(Opens the closet door, kicks gale in the face until he passes out, and takes his phone.)

YES! It was him! Idiot forgot to delete his messages! Such a fail. But...oh the fun I could have with this!

In other news, I have decided to create a website that gives all kinds of information about me! Please go to-

w w w . w i k i p e e t a . c o m

:)

-PEETA

**OH NO! Peeta has Fa- _Gales_ phone! What madness will he do next? REVIEW PLEASE! And that's not a real website, sorry:(**


	17. Chapter 17

**Happy National American Divorce day! Haha, just saying... I hope you like this chapter! (I don't...) Read and review!**

Dear Diary,

Hey , not much is going on lately. I am in a deep, mourning, crippling, and depressing, depression ever since Katniss found out I had Gale in my closet...It seemed like just yesterday. Oh wait, it was...

I have been talking to Katniss via Fail Fone. Yes, I am aware that's not how you spell phone! It just isn't as catchy the other way!

-PEETA

* * *

><p>FAIL FONE<p>

_Catnip- Gale, I'm waiting for the right time to get you out, okay? I just need to wait until the house is empty. I told Peeta I knew it was him..._

_Gale- Really, how did THAT turn out? And thanks for this Catnip, I need to get out of this sexy beasts house._

_Catnip- What? That was a DYAC moment right? And uh, not so good. He wasn't in school today...I hope he's okay._

_Gale- Oh, uh, yes, sorry I meant 'loser' not whatever else I said. Pft, I don't even remember! So, yeah, Peeta was here, I heard him through the door. What did you say to him? I think you should apologize. He is waaay better for you then me! Better looking too!_

_Catnip- What are you serious? I didn't say much, just the truth...But he has you locked in a closet for goodness sake! Why should I apologize?_

_Gale- Because you LOVE him, duh! It's obvious you have feelings for him that aren't death related...heh_

_Catnip-I ummm...g2g. Be there ASAP_

* * *

><p>GALE POV<p>

Katniss better get here quick...if only I could tell her Mellark took my phone! Wait, somebody is coming in...

"Hey Peeta, feeling better?" someone asks.

"No." he says.

"Well, if you want I could take you for a walk, get things off your mind?"

"Okay-"

I start to kick the door and make as much noise as I can threw the tape over my mouth.

"What's in the closet? Peeta? Answer me!" the person says.

Then the door opens. It's Delly Cartwright. _Shoot._

"OMG! HAHAHA! That's Fail right?" she laughs.

_Wait, WHAT did she call me?_

"Yup that's it." Peeta says.

_Gee, thanks for mentioning me as 'it'. That makes me feel so good about myself._

"May I?" she asks.

"Go right ahead." He says, gesturing toward me. _Wait a second-_

Then I'm kicked. Hard.

"Wow, Failure is fun to kick!" she says.

_Can somebody please use my_ _name_?

"It's a good stress reliever, that's for sure." he says.

"PEETA, WHAT'S ALL THAT NOISE!" his mom calls.

"NOTHING!" Peeta and Delly call back.

_NO! WAIT!-_

But the door slams right in my face. _Fantastic._

**Sorry, it was kinda boring...I am working on some better stuff I promise! REVIEW!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello! 300 reviews! YESSSSSSSSSS! Thanks so much for anyone and everyone who has reviewed! Enjoy this chapter and don't ask...**

Dear Diary,

I'm not having the best week. Katniss has made it hard enough but...Well, let's start from this morning.

I still haven't been in school so I decided to take up some new hobbies. I was re-arranging my rock garden when it happened...

_Yellow by green, green by blue, blue by- That was when I saw it. The ugliest rock in the world! It looked like a mixture of Failure and a turd! I was descusted!_

_How could I let something like that into my beloved rock garden? I had to get rid of it, but...I really didn't want to touch it. While I was brain-storming ideas I decided to name it Carrie._

_"So Carrie-" I started, "What brings you here to ruin my garden o' rocks?" I ask her._

_"Peeta-" she says, wait, that's not Carrie. _

_I turn around and see Katniss. She was forced to bring my homework home for me every day, so it's been a little awkward, but we are definably making progress in forgiveness._

_"Katniss, I'm just...uhh-"_

_"Talking to a rock?"_

_"Yeah... Pretty much."_

It was so embarrassing! She had caught me talking to an ugly rock! Now, she must think I like _ugly_ things and she must think _she's_ ugly! I know how a girls mind works! What am I going to do?

After that she ran away and I used gloves to pick up Carrie.

"I hate you! SO MUCH!" I ran to the fence surrounding D12 and chucked her right over the fence! It felt good! Then I went home and sat down, all depressed like.

-PEETA

**REVIEW! REVIEW REVIEW!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hello! This is so short but another chapter should be up in a day or so...I just couldn't find much else to say…And THANK YOU for all the great reviews! And also to an anonymous reviewer that submitted my story to night lock's Fanfic Recs! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Too bad I don't...ENJOY!**

Dear Diary,

KATNISS CAHNGED HER STATUS ON FACEBOOK! AND _I_ AM IN IT! SHE MUST REALLY LOVE ME AGAIN!

_Katniss Everdeen_-_ I hate my life. I hate the Capital. I HATE PEETA MELLARK. Kill me now._

_Peeta Mellark- Oh Katniss, I knew you would forgive me! Our love can overcome any obstacle! You, me, dinner, tonight. I'll meet you at the meadow at eight._

AND THEN KATNISS SAID YES VIA TEXT! HOW AWESOME?

-PEETA

* * *

><p>Katniss' POV<p>

_Finally._ While Peeta will be waited for me, I will be getting gale out off that house! The only problem will be _how _exactly I can do this without anyone noticing...

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Yay! 20 chapters! Who would have thought? Not me, that's for sure! An I can't remember who, but someone asked if I was Team Peeta or Gale. To answer, I am on Team Finnick! Wow, I just noticed this is a long chapter...READ AND REVIEW!**

**Katniss' POV**

If I can get in threw the bathroom window, I should be good from there, but the only problem is that Peeta's family is in the house...

I climb through the window and wait a good five minutes to make sure nobody heard me. I peak into the hallway, it's all clear.

_Hmmm, I wonder which room it is._ There are three rooms.

The first says, "SPARKLY UNICORN'S IN HERE!"

The second says, "IF YOUR LOOKING FOR PEETA, HE ISN'T IN THIS ROOM, BUT IF YOUR LOOKING FOR TELETUBIES MERCHANDISE..."

And the last says, "A FAILURE IS NOT IN THE CLOSET OF THIS ROOM!"

I think I will go in the third...But first I run into the second room and grab a Tinky-Winky stuffed animal. They are quite hard to find around here! I will have to remember to thank the Mellark brothers later...

I run into the third room and spot the closet. I kick it down and see Gale, duct-taped to the wall, upside-down. I yank all of the pieces of at once and he falls, probably breaking his neck or something.

I help him stand and we make our way out of the room. _Wait a second!_ I think, and I run into the first room, dropping Gale on the floor. He cries out in pain.

"STUT UP!" I yell. I run into the room. It's completely empty. _What a dirty trick!_

"LIES!" I scream. I start to cry and punch a hole in the wall.

"Katniss?" I hear Peeta say, I turn around and sure enough, there he is.

His cheeks are pink from tears, but when he sees me in his house, a huge grin spreads.

"Peeta! I was coming here to ummm, get my...lotion! Yes, yes, I need some for the new mouse trap I'm working on..." I say.

"Oh, Katniss! That's cool! For a while I thought you blew me off!" he laughs.

"I WOULD NEVER!" I fake looking shocked. _Idiot._ "Oh, Peeta I forgot my shoes in your front yard! Can you get them?" but he is already gone, before I finish the question.

I punch the wall again, and fetch Gale from the hall. I push him threw the bathroom window, and start heading home. I need to get this loser to my mom.

But I look back at the Mellark house with one question on my mind.

_Why didn't Peeta notice I already had my shoes on?_

**REVIEW OR GET KICKED BY DELLLY!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey! I have finally decided how long this story is going to be! I have been thinking long and hard...well, not really, but I have decided to end it with the reaping a few days before the movie comes out. Because I don't know about you but, when I wait for a new movie, I read Fanfics for like two weeks strait to deal with the excitement! So, yup! Here's the next chapter then!**

Dear Diary,

Katniss Everdeen was in my house. _Katniss Everdeen_ was in _my _house! KATNISS EVERDEEN WAS IN MY HOUSE! But then she left...

I was going back upstairs to tell her I couldn't find her shoes when I noticed she was gone! I want to my closet to take it out on Fail, and _he _was gone!

Fail must have put her up to it! She loves me too much to let this happen! UGH!

But it's not over in the fat lady sings! But, since everyone here is skinny from hunger...IT WILL NEVER BE OVER!

I'm not finished with Failure just yet...I've got some plans. He just keeps getting in the way between Katniss and I! Maybe my brothers will understand...and help:)

I NEED to get some new socks!

-PEETA

* * *

><p><em>Peeta Mellark- NEW SOCKS BABY! THE KIND WITH TOE HOLES! YESSSSSSSS!<em>

_Delly Cartwright- Peeta, Peeta, Peeta, Peeta...PEETA are you listening?_

_Peeta Mellark- Yeah._

_Delly Cartwright- GOOD! I need your help..._

_Peeta Mellark- Tell me what you need me to do:)_

* * *

><p><strong>BUM, BUM, BUM! REVIEW! Oh Peeta and his evil plotting:) <strong>

**Also, does anybody have any good names for Peeta brothers? Yes! They are coming! If you thought Peeta was bad...Together, they are well, let's put it this way, _very special._ And Carrie the rock will be making an appearance soon as well...and maybe even Finnick?**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey everyone! Thanks for all of the ideas for Peeta's brothers! I really liked the name Rye, so in the end I choose that as one. And a lot of people suggested that! So, thanks for anyone who suggested Rye! And as hilarious as it would be to name the other brother Pumpernickel...:) I ended up with Rye and Weet. Thanks to BurnDownPanem;)**

**This chapter is in the POV of Rye:) Enjoy!**

As I look around the room I sense something is wrong, something is...missing. Then I see it.

"PEETA!" I scream as I run into his room.

"Where is my freaking Tinky-Winky collector's item? It was LIMITED EDITION! I KNOW IT WAS YOU!" I yell.

"Gosh, Rye! It wasn't me, I don't give a crap for stupid stuff like that!" he yells.

_How dare he talk to me in that tone! _

"Stupid? THIS IS A SERIOUS SITUATION! THE TELETUBIES ARE NOT STUPID! THEY ARE GIFTS FROM HEAVEN! YOU SHOULD BE GREATFUL!"

"Gosh, calm down! You probabley just left it at school again! You took it to show-and-tell this week right?" he asks.

_Oh yeah! But I could have sworn I brought it home..._

"Oh, sorry. I'll just be going then-" I say as I try to slip out the door.

"NO! Wait! Can you help with something? Weet is too. I need to get rid of someone and I need your help." He says with sudden seriousness.

"Sure, what?" I ask.

"I need to get rid of Failure. For good." he whispers.

"Ah, _Failure." _That was a fun time. He captured him just a little while after he trapped Weet in his closet. We hate Weet, just in case you were wondering.

"Yeah, so you in?" Yes, most likely. It must be really important if he is letting _Weet_ of all people help.

"Sure, just let me know when." I say. Then I walk down to the bakery for my shift.

I put my apron on just as Katiss comes in with a squirrel. I give her the usual trade. Then, just as she starts to walk off she turns around, and puts her hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you." She says sincerely.

Umm, okay then...It was nothing really, just bread.

But as she walks off, I see a purple head stinking out of her bag-

_Oh my god! That little-_

**OKAY! RYE! That's enough! Haha, Review please!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey everybody! Sorry this is so late:( I was super busy with a bunch of school crap. And just recovered from a depressing depression after my school dance was cancelled and I didn't get the part I tried out for in my school play:( But, I did learn a few things from Peeta about getting rid of enemies...so it's all good:) I also had a bad case of writers block and couldn't find much inspiration, but it's here now so enjoy!**

Dear Diary,

Rye, Weet (idiot brothers), Delly, and I have finally gotten a plan to get rid of Failure:)

Delly shall apologize to Fail for kicking the crap out of him

Delly will ask him out on a date

Delly will get lost coincidently get lost in a dark alley near my house

Weet and Rye will trap him in a box

And Delly and I shall ship him to District four!

-PEETA

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

It's late at night right now. I'm only writing here because I need a distraction from my nightmare. It was crazy...

I kept flashing from one place to another...

_I'm in an ocean, with a camera, taking a picture of a clownfish as Weet captures another fish in a bag...Idiot.-_

_NO! Now I'm in the jungle, near pride rock, as a monkey lifts up a lion, what the f-_

_WHAT? Where am I now? There's vegetables walking around and picking things up, BUT THEY DONT HAVE ANY ARMS!-_

_AH! Somebody please wake me up! There are two grown men, making bunk beds...? What?_

_OMG! MAKE IT STOP! Hey, I know this place! It's Forks! Look! A vamp-_

_SOMEONE HELP ME! Oh! A musical! "We're all in this together!"-_

_CARRIE! NOOOOO! Why can't I move! Fail is throwing that stupid turd at me!-_

_Whoa. I'm in District 12, its reaping day...Andon stage there's Katniss and, I can't make out the other person-_

That's when I woke up, I still wonder who that person was...Anyways; I need to go and buy some stamps.

-PEETA

**REVIEW PLEASE! Gosh, don't you hate those dreams? Everything in Peeta's dream has happed or will happen...BUM BUM BUM! But you kind of aleady knew that...hopefully:)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey everyone! Sorry updates have been taking so long; I've been trying to figure out what should happen while keeping it funny. It's a lot harder than it looks! Please enjoy the demented mind of Delly! Warning, some fluff. EMILY EMILY EMILY! There are you happy now? Lol, my friend EMILY wanted to be mentioned, so...EMILY EMILY EMILY! She's Team Gale, ick. No offence to the Fail Fans but, well, you know:) READ AND REVIEW!**

"Hey Gale,-" I start.

"OH MY GOD! Get away!" he screams.

"No, no! I'm here to apologize!" I smile.

"Uh, really? Delly, I don't know...I should be getting home." he says.

"Just let me explain, please?" I ask.

"Fine, shoot."

"Shoot what?"

''GO!"

"Ahh, okay then. Well, Gale, this is hard for me to admit, but," I sigh, "I have only been mean to you because, because I like you." I smile, _If only he knew._

"What? You, _like _me? You got to be kidding!" he says.

"NO! I'm not it's just, well, how can I prove it to you?" I look around to make sure nobody is watching. What I'm about to do disgusts me beyond belief, but, Peeta's my friend and I promised to do whatever it takes.

With that, I leaned in and forcefully kissed the Failure. I try to pretend it's Finnick, but, it doesn't work. Fails to nasty.

"Whoa! Delly! Uh, I have a girlfriend!" he tells me. But of course I was prepared for this, and as if on cue, Madge Undersea appears.

"Gale? What are you doing? I thought that, that we-" She stumbles.

"Hey Madge, I umm, was just-" he starts.

"I saw it ALL! You, you, you-" I know that word she's looking for!

"Failure?" I offer.

"YOU FAILURE! WE ARE OVER!" she yells, and storms off.

"See ya later Madge!" I yell. I look at Failure, he's so confused. It reminds me of my Father after he eats cookies on Labor Day. So, so, confused.

"I, uh, I can't believe that just happened." he whispers. But then smiles. He leans in and-

_So gross so gross, get him off get him off! Can't anybody see this? HELP ME! Oh my gosh, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, EW!_

When he FINALLY pulls away, I fake a smile and try not to gag.

"You free tonight?'' I ask.

"I am now." he says.

"I'll meet you here, seven sharp." I command.

"Okay." Idiot.

Then I walk away, gagging in the process, ready to tell Peeta the good news.

**REVIEW! Sorry it wasn't funny; I just needed to get a chapter like this in. Soon, it will all fall apart! Yay parodies! Did I spell Madges last name right?**


	25. Chapter 25

**OMG! You guys are sooooo awesome! 500 rewiews? I now declare any person who has ever reviewed this story to be awesome. It's official. THANK YOU! Now for your next chapter! Speaking of which, does anyone know why some people call there chapters chappies? Just curious. It probley has no meaning whatsoever! But I'm probley boring you, so, I'll shut up now! READ AND REVIEW YOU AWESOME PEOPLE!**

Dear Diary,

The deed is done:) But I can say that Fail put up a fight. Delly lured him into an ally near the bakery where Weet and Rye jumped him. But, he was actually fighting back! But really, he should have known better.

He started called out Delly's name for help, but she just laughed at him and kicked him in the shin. It was hilarious.

I wasn't really part of all of the action because I couldn't get my pretty face messed up! Katniss would never like that! But, she did like Gale...I think. That subject is still confusing to me. As are many other subjects, like biology or politics.

But once they had Gale in that crate I couldn't help myself, I started to kick it. That's just what I do! If something is on the ground, I'm gonna kick it! Rocks, Failures, puppies...

OH! And speaking of rocks! After we had Gale in the box, he was calling out Carrie! My enemy! THEY WERE WORKING INCOGNETO! Hehe, that's a big word. I can spell lots of big words, you know, diary. Such as_ fotosynthisis _or, _orang_. I'm very proud of that fact.

But back to that turd rock! She swooped around that corner, full of ugliness and turd-like qualities, like...ugliness!

And she ran up to me and landed...right...on...my...foot! And that was the last straw! I picked her up and shoved her into that failure box with Fail!

We taped it up and went to the post office. We walked away, and never turned back!

NOW! Now I can finally get to Katniss without HIM in the way!

-PEETA

**REVIEW! And please, please, PLEASE! Stay awesome! And may I recommend my other story, lamely named- Finnick and Annie, how they came to be! It's so Finnick:)**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hello everyone! So it's been a while, busy weekend, and I have been a little worked up with my SYOT. Did you know that they aren't technically allowed? Well someone PMed me telling me I need to take it down and I don't know what to do! And I also was deciding what HG merchandize from Hot Topic I will be buying! Probably Katniss' backpack, he is of my favorite characters! Will you guys be getting anything? But here we go, back to Peeta and his diary!**

Dear Diary,

When I went to school today I was so carefree and refreshed! I was a Fail-free man! Actually, probably a little too happy because when I walked into the classroom I broke out into song-

"THE HILLS ARE ALIVE! WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC! AHHHHHHHHH!"

But then I got a detention, so, no more singing for me... But on the upside! Katniss had detention too! And on the upper up side of the same upside, we were the only two people there!

I waited until the teacher fell asleep, and then I went to sit closer to her.

_(Flashback sequence)_

_"HEY KATNISS! YOU GOT DETENTION TOO? CRAAAAAZY! RIGHT?" She covered her ears._

_"WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?"_

_"OH SORRY! Oh, um, sorry! I didn't notice..."_

_"Yeah..." She looked away._

_"Sooooo, where's Fa- uh, I mean Gale? Isn't he usually here too?" I ask._

_"I haven't seen him in days. He won't talk to me and his family won't either, I don't know why!" She admits._

But I do!

After I sent Fail away I sent a letter to his family, pretending to be him of course, admitting Peeta's awesomeness, and also to attempting suicide! I figured it would be easier if the cops weren't looking for him. I'm not THAT stupid!

So I talked to Katniss, and drooled a little until detention was over...

After that I offered to walk her home, and SHE SAID YES! It was a little awkward but, AWESOME all the same! Well, until we reached the Seam... I got scared and told her I had to go home and ice some cakes. She gave me a weird look but then said okay! This may be the greatest day of my life! Then I skipped away singing some more, this time about how I know the muffin man...

-PEETA

**REVIEW PLEASE! And I have decided to name Katniss' backpack from the arena Mr. Backpack, or Dave. Either one works! You can expect him to be in one of my parodies in the future! Mwahahaha! And if you see any spelling errors let me know! I wrote this up really fast!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Oh my, you guys have no idea the work I went through writing this! It wouldn't save and I had to re-write the whole chapter! Frustration! (Is that how you spell that?) But thank you guys for the supportive and great reviews! Yay! And I know this doesn't match the same date as the profile but I DON'T CARE! Take that haters:) Enjoy, wonderful reviewers!**

Dear Diary,

ARE YALL READY FOR 'DIS? Probably not! In case you were wondering. It's my birthday party! SWEET 16! That means it's going to be a billion times better then usual! I'm renting the whole town square for this thing!

You know who's invited? KATNISS! You know who isn't? Well, uhh, A LOT OF PEOPLE! Weet (loser) will be helping me set up the homemade Ferris wheel I built with my bare hands when I was 7!

Katniss will be standing there, smiling, and I'll ask her if she will ride it with me. She'll giggle and agree, and then we'll live happily ever after!

Another great thing is that my favorite brother (suck it Weet!) is bringing, wait for it...bananas! It's something we do in D12. On a Town kids 16th birthday they get to try the ever rare 'Banana'. They're very expensive but Rye has illegally purchased 300 for the party! How great!

Here's my VIP list;

Me (Duh)

Weet (Dads making me, ick.)

Rye (BANANAS!)

Katniss (My love!)

Delly (My BFF)

Madge (So Katniss has someone to talk about me with!)

Oh, it's going to be great! How can anything possibly go wrong? Don't answer that! This is going to be the best party the world has EVER seen!

-PEETA

* * *

><p><em>Peeta Mellark- HEY PEOPLE P-A-R-T-Y PARTY! If you are cool, you get an invite, if not, sucks for you! THERE SHALL BE BANANAS FOR ALL INVITED! Katniss. Oh Katniss. How you will love me after this marvelous party!<em>

_Katniss Everdeen- Lol Peeta, whatever:)_

* * *

><p><strong>GASP! Katniss has feelings now! REVIEW PLEASE! What's your favorite button on your keyboard? Mine is the squiggly! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SQUIGGLY FOREVER!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!<strong>


	28. Chapter 28

**OMG! Thank you for the amazing reviews! Yay! I LOVE YOU ALL! (In a not-creepy way of course!) So here is Peeta's party...Oh Peeta. I will have this chapter in both Peeta's and Katniss' POV if all goes well! I think this will be the first chapter of Peeta's POV that isn't in his diary...maybe:) And I laughed out loud at some of your comments with your favorite keyboard button:) READ AND REVIEW!**

_Let's do this thing!_ I think as I make my grand entrance. I sit on top of a giant cheetah print high-heeled shoe chair, carried by Weet, loser.

As I come into few, everyone cheers, of course. How can they not? I mean, this is the BEST PARTY EVER!

Then Weet falls down (fail) and me with him, idiot. But as the chair falls on him, my wonderful brother Rye catches me and kicks Weet in the face.

"DUDE! Why?" He yells. I hug him, thank him for saving my life, then go over to the VIP section were my girl (Katniss) is. Rye and Weet set everything up. There are twinkly lights everywhere and barrels of bananas by a huge ice sculpture of me. Yeah, I _AM_ cool. I run over to a barrel and grab a banana.

Holding it with care, I gently peal it, just the way I saw in the training video. I lean in for the first bite, and-

"_Oh my gosh!"_ I scream with my mouth full, and I don't care! It's my freaking birthday!

This is by far the most amazing thing I have ever tasted in my life.

I walk over to Katniss. "Would you like to have a ride on the Farris Wheel?" I ask, "I made it myself!"

"Uhh, maybe later." She looks hesitant.

* * *

><p>After a huge celebration Katniss and I end up sitting in the grass near a unicorn playground that we just finished playing on. Katniss is sooooo good on the monkey bars!<p>

I look lovingly at herm she is staring longingly...at the playground. _Later. _I mouth to her. She smiles, I MADE HER SMILE! IF FAIL COULD SEE ME NOW! Actually...yeah, NO!

I lean in to her, no is the time. I need to kiss her! I've waited long enough! _You deserve this, Peeta! _I tell myself. But just an inch away from her, I hear a scream, followed by a huge crash. I look back; my Farris Wheel is falling down, loaded with people.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream.

It toke _forever_ to build that! Oh yeah, and there's people in there too! But that toke FOREVER! Ugh.

**REVIEW! And just wondering (again), can you guys listen to music when you write? I can't:( I'm not a very good muti-tasker...**_**BUT I CAN **_**walk and chew gum at the same! I know, impressive :)**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hi there! This is the previous chapter in Katniss' POV, enjoy:)**

Wow. I don't I have ever seen _anything _this elegant in my life! Now that I am over the death of Gale, I find comfort in Peeta. He makes me happy with his ridiculousness. Like for instance, he is coming into view now on a women's vanity chair! Hilarious! I don't know how he thinks of stuff like this!

There are lights all over the town squire and I keep peeking over to the unicorn playground. I mean, AWESOME! There are also tons of bananas, I can't have any, I don't know the proper procedure to opening them. You have to take a week-long class to learn something as complex as that!

Then Peeta's stupid brother falls, and Peeta with him. I scream bloody murder.

But thankfully, Peeta's god of a brother, not the idiot, catches him. _Whoa, THAT was a close one! Good thing I didn't over react or anything!_

He walks up to me, I smile. He has his face stuffed with a heavenly banana. _Lucky!_

"Hey Peeta! Happy Birthday!" I say.

"Wod ya ike ta ave a wide on da farless eel?" He manages to get out. _Lovely._ I think as a piece of the banana falls and he scrambles on the ground to get it, licking the sidewalk.

I look at the Farris Wheel, its sloppy work. It won't be up much longer. So I decide to save myself the trouble of killing myself.

"Uhh, maybe later." I tell him, and then I suggest we go to the playground. He gets excited and screams,

"RACE YOU THERE!"

Oh Peeta, if only you knew. I sprint next to him, teasingly and then easily pass him up a few feet away. _TAKE THAT!_

We play around for a while, me showing off my monkey-like skills and him showing me how high he can swing. Which is pretty high, believe it or not! I am about to make my way to the slide down the unicorns tail, when Peeta calls me over to sit with him, I look at the slide sadly, but fight threw it.

I sit next to him, still watching the slide. He mouths something to me. _What? _I mouth back, and then I realize that we are alone and that it's stupid to mouth a conversation when nobody is listening. Duh.

Then I get lost in his beautiful blue eyes. They are like vanilla pudding with blue food coloring in it. Two drops of it, no more, no less. THAT is the color of Peeta eyes.

Then he leans in, and I forget about the stalker Peeta, and imagine a world where he isn't a stalker. A world were Peeta, well like I said, isn't a stalker.

Then I remember him licking the sidewalk...And I need a distraction. Yes, I want to kiss that freak, but, imagine all of the people that have licked the sidewalk in that same exact spot! Ew!

I see Prim getting on the Farris Wheel,_ perfect. _Her weight will bring that sucker down, and it does. I watch as the Wheel collaspes, Q-tips fall everywhere! Peeta pulls away and starts to cry and scream. Apparently it took quite a while to build that.

He gets up and runs to it, me forgotten by now. WELL THEN!

**REVIEW PLEASE! I know this wasn't really that exciting, but I promise something you don't expect will happen in the next chapter! Maybe. JK! No seriously, Idk. But it depends, probably. Okay, there is a **_**possibility**_** that something crazy**_** may**_** happen that you don't expect. **_**Maybe:) **_**REVIEW!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hi again! You guys didn't think I would leave you without a Valentine's Day chapter did you? I did! Sorry! I forgot all about that while writing! STUPID! Well since I am single and all by myself, I am writing another chapter for you! (Gee, I wonder how a mentally insane person such as myself could possibly be single? I just don't know any more...) 30 chapter wowza! I can't believe I just said wowza...Enjoy!**

Dear Diary,

Everything was going FANTASTIC! And then my masterpiece fell down! Sigh, nobody was hurt though. It's just that I was _so_ close! Katniss was _so close! _How could this day get any worse!

You know what diary? I'm tired of complaining to you about my problems. I am going to go out there and fix them! You read that right mister! It may be three in the morning but PEETA MELLARK IS GOING TO KISS KATNISS EVERDEEN _NOW!_

_-_PEETA

* * *

><p>(Texts)<p>

_Peeta- Katniss, meet me in the meadow, ASAP! COME ALONE! Wait that sounded scary! No, just meet me in the meadow, okay?_

_Katniss- Uhh, sure thing..._

* * *

><p><em>Katniss' POV<em>

I sit in the grass waiting for him. What does he need to say that is so urgent?

Then I see him running and he eventually sits down next to me.

"Katniss," he says out of breath. I wait. When he finally catches his breath he leans in and kisses me.

_Finally!_ I think, kissing back. We pull away, smiling at each other like idiots. _I can't believe I just did that!_

_Peeta's POV_

I have done it. Katniss is finally mine!

Now we can get married and have kids and they can learn to make bread that they'll throw at poor Seam kids that they'll fall in love with and them, then they can have kids that will learn to make bread, and throw it at poor Seam kids that they'll fall in love with, and then they'll have kids...You get, right?

I hear a sound-

"Hey Mellark, right? I believe this belongs to you!"

I recognize the face of Finnick Odair, holding someone, I see another face that I prefer that I don't recognize...the face of a failure. Finnick throws him over to me and Katniss screams.

"AWWWWW COME ON!" I scream.

**Oh Peeta, at least you kissed her right? Right? **

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hey everyone! Sorry for the late update! I was planning on updating Thursday but something was wrong and my computer would let me log in:( But here it is now! This is in Fails POV, starting from when he arrived in D4. Enjoy:)**

When I finally gained conscience, I heard a voice outside of the crate.

"To Finnick, from Delly," he read. The voice was so familiar...How do I know this person?

"This is a gift for you! I weapon to use against any competing girls! Just show them the face; you'll see what I mean!" He finished.

_Ugh, DELLY? I feel stupid. Why did I believe such a ridiculous apology? Why did I come with her that night?_

"This should be interesting." I voice says. Then he starts to open the box. _What should I do, or say?_

The light comes through and my eyes adjust, when I can see I recognize the face of my hero. FINNICK ODAIR!

Then I see a dark haired woman next to him, obviously terrified.

"Uh, hi." I say. The woman screams and runs away. _Nice one!_

"Oh my gosh. I can't believe she did this! I'm sorry, I'll be right back. You can, uhhh, get out of there I guess." Then he ran after the women. _Finnick Odair is dazzling!_

While I was waited I looked around the victor's house. _Holy crap! _I thought looking at a huge pile of mail. _What could these people possibly have to say?_

When Finnick comes back, he apologizes for the behavior of Delly. And asked me how I got here. I told my sad tale of woe, and by the time I was done, he was laughing!

"Wow, you _are_ a failure! Why would you believe that! And, really? Three girls at once? Even _I _know when to stop! FAIL!" he kept laughing. "I guess you can stay here for a while, I will figure out how to get you back to district 12," Another burst of laughter.

* * *

><p>The first few days were wonderful; Finnick and I became good friends! We sang Barbra Streisand together while doing dishes, he watched me almost drown trying to swim, and I got to try on some extremely tight clothing! But I couldn't keep my eyes off of the women that ran away...<p>

Finicky told me her name was Annie. What a lovely name! Eventually she got over her fear enough, to come and talk to me. She asked me about District 12. She was quite interested.

One night I was sitting with her on the couch talking about peacekeepers, when I noticed something. _Look at those eyes!_ I leaned in and kissed her, she obviously tried to push away but I wouldn't allow it.

"Fail! I have a plan to get you home-" Finnick came into the room and froze at the sight. _Oops. I guess this looks pretty bad doesn't it?_

"ANNIE!" he screamed, and she ran over to him and told the whole story. _Am I really that bad?_

Finnick told her to leave while he _talked _to me. As soon as she was gone, he started to laugh, it was a little scary. Very scary actually...

"Hahaha! Oh, Failure, you-" Then I was punched in the face, as he screamed and swore at me. I lay on the ground and was kicked repeatedly. _Maybe he and Delly are perfect._ I thought.

After that, well, we got into a crate together and had Mags carry us over to the post office, he was coming to make sure I got home, and didn't spread my Fail-ness throughout Panem.

And now, here I am, being pushed to the ground, at the feet of Mellark. _A dream come true._

**WOW! This is a long chapter! Finnick deserves it! REVIEW PLEAESE! Each one is MUCH appreciated! And you probably noticed but Fail questions himself a lot! I wonder why?**


	32. Chapter 32

**WOW! Thank you for every single review! Once again, you guys are awesome! I have been meaning to replay to some but I just couldn't find the time...I will get to it soon! In this chapter we shall be going to Katniss' POV. Please enjoy her confusion:)**

_Gale? Oh my gosh! HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! And, Finnick? What the hec is going on?_

"What the hec is going on?" I might as well get to the point. It saves time.

"Why, how rude of me! I didn't notice I was in the presence of a lady!" Finnick says, smiling. It's creepy, just plain creepy.

"I'm so confused! Gale is that really you?" I ask.

He stands up, he is covered in bruises. "Yeah, it's me Catnip."

"STUPID NICKNAME!" Peeta blurts out.

"What happened to you?" I ask Gale.

"Well Finnick-"

"Happily toke him in! He was getting beaten by street punks. You're welcome, by the way." Finnick finishes for him and winks.

Gale looks confused but then nods, and tells me that's what happened.

"Gale, I-I don't know what to say! You left that note; we all thought you were dead!" I say.

"Note, what? Whatever, Katniss why don't you start by telling me what _you _were doing?" He glares at Peeta.

"I was kissing my new boyfriend." I state, I take a hold of Peeta's hand and he smiles.

"What? Katniss! I thought we...?"

"DUDE! ONE AT A TIME!" Finnick yells. Then he looks up into the sky for a flashback, I follow his gaze.

I watch the thought bubble of Gale kissing some girl, and Finnick walking in on it.

_"GALE!"_ I scream."YOU MAN WHORE!"

Then Finnick burst out laughing.

"SHUTUP! You're no better!" I yell to him. He looks at me offended, and then winks again. I sigh in frustration.

"Gale, I don't even want to look at you right now! Go home to your family; _they _will be happy to see you!" I yell, and then he skips off.

Finnick just stands there awkwardly. Then I hear a screech.

"FINNICK! OH MY GOSH YOU CAME FOR ME! WHAAAAAAAA!" I look up and see Delly Cartwright tackle him.

"Hey, hey! HEY! DELLY!" he yells and pushes her off.

"You remembered my name!" She takes out her phone and sends a tweet.

"What you did Delly," another squeal, "Is _not_ going to happen again!" He commands.

"Oh Finnick, you don't have control of that!" she says evilly.

"What do you want from me!" he yells. Delly smiles.

_I am soooo confused! _I look over at Peeta; he just smiles and shakes his head, saying he has no idea either.

* * *

><p><em>Delly Cartwright- FINNICK ODAIR KNOWS MY NAME! TAKE THAT MOM!<em>

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><p><strong>Hehehe, oh Delly:) REVIEW PLEASE! Each one makes me very happy!<strong>


	33. Chapter 33

**HI! Sorry for the short chapter but I really wanted to give you guys an update. PLEASE REVIEW!**

Dear Diary,

Fail...is...freaking...back. What is up with him trying to ruin my life? Does he not have any sense of priority? _I_ come _before _him! But, hey, on the upside! Katniss and I have made it official! She's my girlfriend, I'm her boyfriend, we're pretty exclusive.

But, now that Katniss is mine, I shouldn't really have to worry about Failure. She obviously hates him! We have so much in common!

And Delly finally got Finnick:) How sweet! Sure, she's blackmailing him, but, love is love is love is love!

-PEETA

* * *

><p>Gale Hawthorne- I'm back, baby! (Is Daniel Radcliff gay?)<p>

_Katniss Everdeen- What! You have a baby? I knew it! Who's? (I don't think so, but maybe...I saw him on that commercial...Google it)_

_Gale Hawthorne- Your mom. (Thanks! I will!)_

_Katniss Everdeen- GALE! You're joking right? That's ca-cas! (Let me know! I'm kinda curious now!)_

_Gale Hawthorne- OF COURSE I'M KIDDING! What's wrong with you! Peeta's idiot-ness is rubbing off on you. (Right?)_

_Katniss Everdeen- THAT'S NOT A WORD! I still hate you, Fail... (Totally right!)_

_Gale Hawthorne- Gee thanks. And yeah, it is so a word! I just made it up! (He says in an interview that he isn't gay but he is defiantly not strait.)_

_Katniss Everdeen- FAIL! (OMG! Bi-sexual!)_

_Gale Hawthorne- *Sigh* (THAT'S CRAZY! Who knew?)_

_Finnick Odair- Everyone but you guys._

_Delly Cartwright- AHHHHHH! FINNICK! Hey, what's up?_

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I know, not my best chapter...BUT YOU CAN STILL REVIEW! I have been thinking (And that's never good!) but I am having trouble with coming up with stuff. So, I am putting up a poll on my profile on what you guys want to see more of. VOTE PLEASE! And whichever one gets the most, I will put in my story! Yay!<strong>


	34. Chapter 34

**I should have seen this coming...But her are the results for my poll so far:) You asked for it! Just remember that! READ AND REVIEW!**

Dearest Diary,

Today Katniss and I were walking home from school, and habit that we have now. I couldn't help but thinking to myself, _KATNISS IS MY GIRLFRIEND AND NOT YOURS! _Whenever I walked by somebody. When we got to Katniss' house I said goodbye and headed back home. But when I looked over to the meadow where we kissed that night, I stopped and sighed.

Then Failure was just a few yards away...

"HEY!" He yelled, how dare he talk to me like that!

"What do want Failure?" I said back.

"I challenge you to-"

"What? You challenge me to what?" I cut him off.

"A CHALLANGE! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A CHALLENGE!"

_Wow, very original._ "You mean like a duel?" I ask, I have always wanted to protect Katniss via duel!

"Yes! A duel!" He agrees. I run up to him...

"Ready set...BEGIN!" I call.

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!" Shoot! Gale won...

He screamed 'Victory for Fail' and started a victory lap around district 12.

I wasn't just going to leave him there all by himself for when he was done celebrating! So as I sat there I noticed a familiarly ugly object in the grass. That's when it happened.

"CARRIE!" I scream in horror. She slithered toward me like a snake.

"Ummm, we don't need to fight! I just, uhh, you know! I didn't _mean_ to send you away I just..." I try to explain, but she won't allow it.

She started to threw cheese at me, and NOT American cheese!

I pounded my fist in the air screaming, "NO! NOT PROVALONE!" And I ran home, Gale will have to do the same; I hope he doesn't get lost.

...And that's what happened today...yeah.

-PEETA

* * *

><p><em>Peeta Mellark- I smell like cheese AND NOT THE GOOD KIND!<em>

_Carrie the Rock- *Victory lap around twelve*_

* * *

><p><strong>REVIEW PLEASE! And just in case you are wondering, Carrie beat Gale on the Victory lap...<strong>

**Okay, so there is a story called "The First Ever Hunger Games Parody Awards" by TotalZayaGirl14. You can submit a parody/story and win a prize! I think it's pretty cool and would suggest you crazy minds to go and write a story for her! It's really cool and with your help these award can be ten times more successful! PLEASE CHECK IT OUT AND SUBMIT A STORY! It is much appreciated!**


	35. Chapter 35

**I am not dead! Just in case you were wondering...I am completely off my schedule for this story now, but oh well. I am really sorry for the wait; I have two huge projects due for school and a research paper due next week that I should be working on now... :) I hope you enjoy this chapter though! READ AND REVIEW!**

Dear Diary,

Katniss and I have been very close lately, and Gale hasn't been a problem AT ALL! Can you believe it? I can't. Something is fishy about that...

Today while Katniss and I were engaging in a conversation on whether or not tomatoes are a fruit or vegetable, when I had a brain storm! So I got up from the chair I was in, knocking it down in the process, and ran away!

I hear that that's a real turn on for girls!

So, here I am, Diary. What made me run all the over here? My obsession of writing lists, that's what! The following is a list of names for the baby child of Katniss and me.

-Jessicough

-Lemonjello

-Orangejello

-Na-sha

-Barnaby

-Adolph

-Fancy

-Fairchild

-Elmo

-MRC (like on the calculator!)

-Clementine

-Bread

Ah, yes. Those magical names. These children will be beautiful! Oh diary, I must now go, for there is a Katniss pounding on my door! I wonder what she wants?

-PEETA

**REVIEW PLEAESE! And I in no way meant to offend anyone with these names! I actually like a lot of them :) **

**And I have decided that whomever my 834 reviewer is (why that number I have no idea, I just made it up:)) Will be mentioned in the chapter following that, and will get to decide a reasonable plot twist that I will put in the story, Yay! Which means I won't be able to finish the story when I want to, with the week delay...Oh well:)**


	36. Chapter 36

**Okay, so the 834 review will probably be on this chapter. So I will ask whoever that person will be, please do not post you idea's in the review! I don't want anyone to know! I will PM you with a congrats, and then you may share, gosh knows what you have in mind! But until then here is another chapter for you! READ AND REVIEW!**

Katniss' POV

I couldn't believe Peeta just left me sitting there all by myself! He knows I get lonely really fast!

I look to my left and see Finnick strapped to a chair and Delly sitting across from him.

"Go get him Katniss!" Delly encouraged.

"I look like a strobe light!" Finnick said, twitching. It's true, he really did look like one.

So I got up from my chair and ran over to Peeta's house, hoping his boy-ish attitude wouldn't take over his body again.

I started to pound on the door, when Peeta finally opened the door, I just stood there._ I hadn't thought this far..._

So, I just turned around and walked away. That ought to teach him not to mess with me!

* * *

><p><em>Peeta Mellark- Going to the Madonna concert! You jealous! (I'm talking to you Hawthorne! I bet a fail like you couldn't even get tickets!)<em>

_Gale Hawthorne- Sigh, it's true:( They were sold out, but that doesn't make me a Failure!_

_Katniss Everdeen- Yes it does._

* * *

><p><strong>REVIEW PLEASE! I appreciate each and every one!<strong> **Sorry for that short chapter though...**


	37. Chapter 37

**Hey everyone! I would like to thank everyone for the huge amount of response there was to last chapter, if you have an idea, you can still tell me, but I don't know if I would use it or not. Sorry, but the plot twist will not be in this chapter, Gizzygirl:( But I am working on it:)**

**In other news...HAVE YOU SEEN **_**IT?**_** I f you don't know what I am talking about, LIONSGATE has released Peeta's interview clip! AHHH! I am still fan girling; I jumped up and down for ten minutes straight, no lie! Okay, I am done now, READ AND REVIEW!**

Dear Diary,

Trouble in paradise...Katniss and I had are first fight, and even though I know I should tell her she's right, she isn't!

Okay so here is what happened. I was over at Katniss' house, and we were just chatting it up on who will probably get picked for the Hunger Games this year. I told her that the betting this year was supposed to be CRAZY!

So, then she said she needed a glass of water, and she left to go out to the well that poor people, like herself must use. So, I guess...some might call it, uhh...snooping. But I ran into her room to see if I could find anything suspicious.

I kept screaming, "SNOOP! SNOOP! SNOOP!" I felt like Snoop-Dog! But I wasn't actually snooping...maybe.

That is when I noticed it. From all of the teletubie marathons I have watched with my brothers, I know a Tinky-Winky when I see one, and _that_ was defiantly, 100% Rye's missing limited edition Tinky-Winky. I had helped him put the missing posters up and everything!

So after multiple double-takes, I picked it up and examined it, it wasn't damaged.

Then Katniss came in, and long story short, she denied taking it. But I took it and ran home anyway. Rye LOVES me, but Katniss doesn't...I don't know what to do! Katniss won't speak to me and I really hope she realizes that stealing is wrong because I miss her already.

What is she goes to Fail for comfort? Turkey jerky! I need to get over to her house now!

-PEETA

**REVIEW PLEASE! The next chapter will either be up tomorrow or Thursday :) Also, if you catch any typos, let me know, I wrote this up really fast:)**


	38. Chapter 38

**REVIEW PLEASE! I really don't have anything else to say other then I appreciate each and every one!**

**Have you seen it? In a clip from the movie, they show Katinss finding Peeta with the nightlock! It's sooo perfect in my opinion:) I am so pumped for this movie! READ AND REVIEW! Gizzygirl;)**

I throw my diary on my bed and run out of my house.

"Peeta! Where do you think you're going?" My mom yells at me. I stop and look at her.

"Just something I need to do." I ran out of my house, threw town, and as approach the Seam, I slow to a walk. _Katniss HAS to forgive me!_

I come up to here house and knock. Once. Twice. I know it isn't locked so I just open it myself.

Then something happens I didn't expect. Katniss is corned by another guy, but not Failure.

"Please, get off of me!" She says to him, pushing him away.

"I can't Kitty-Kat! I love you!" He tells her.

"Hey! What that hec is going on!" I interrupt.

Finnick turns around and stares at me. "Oh, hey Peeta! You can be invited to our wedding!" He says.

"UH!" Katniss yells, punches him in the gut, and runs to me! _Eh, no!_ I never thought I would see the day when I didn't want to talk to Katniss, but I was just so upset right now!

"FINNICK! I am no longer the co-manager of your fan club! I am going to tell DELLY!" I threaten him.

"No! No, no, no! Please don't tell her!"

"I'm gonna! I just want to hit you...really hard...in the head...with a _brick_! I HATE you!" I say, he punches a whole threw the wall.

"No you don't!" he yells to me.

"Okay, Finnick, whatever you say. But if you were on fire, and I had a bucket of water, I would drink it!"

"Fair enough." He agrees. I turn to Katniss.

"I can't even- I just can't to even _stand_ to look at you right now Katniss!"

She looks up at me, "Then sit down!"

"No! I-I need to leave." I say, I grab that jerk Finnick's hand and drag him along with me.

"Peeta-pie! Please don't leave!" She yells.

"Bye Katniss."

I can't believe this! What does he have that I don't? Sure, Finnick is a little good looking- okay, he is probably the most beautiful thing I have ever seen- but I own a freaking bakery! Sure he won the Hunger Games, but...well, okay... he has got me beat. No wonder Delly loves him so much! I may have developed a little man-crush myself...

I come up to Delly's doorstep, she opens it up. "Hi Peeta what's-OH! HI FINNICK!"

I threw him to the ground, I think he fell asleep. I turn around and head strait to Katniss' again. I can't stay mad at her forever!

* * *

><p><em>Finnick Odair- My love doesn't love me back! :'(<em>

_Annie Cresta- What are you taking about Finnick? Haven't I told you enough? _

_Delly Cartwright- Oh, Annie:) You are so funny! But Finnick what _are_ you talking about?_

_Finnick Odair- Uhhhh, nothing!_

* * *

><p><strong>REVIEW PLEASE! I really don't have anything else to say other then I appreciate each and every one!<strong>


	39. Chapter 39

**Holy cow! 38 reviews? That's awesome! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH! Now enjoy:)**

_Finnick's Pov_

As soon as Peeta runs off, Delly slams the door and demands to know what happened. I simply tell her that I stole Peeta's favorite pair of socks and he was angry. She sighs and says that she was scared for a minute.

"Yeah, so can, I ya know, leave?" I ask, it's this thing I do, every night I ask her if I can go back to District four...I always get a glare.

"Why ever would you want to do that?" She asks. She smiles evilly.

"I MISS THE OCEAN!" I tell her.

"Oh Finnick, you remind me of this fish I used to have! So adorable! He kept trying to jump out of the tank for some reason! I probably should have fed him...But one day, he just...died." She pulls out a tissue, and dabs her eyes.

"How does that remind you of me?" I ask, beyond confused.

"Because you like water and so do fish, duh!"

"Wow."

_Will I ever get out of here?_The only hope I have is Peeta, and Katniss...But do to recent confessions...I have a feeling Peeta or Kitty-Kat won't be coming anytime soon...I have no idea what even happened to Failure! He could be dead for all I know!

I hear a knock on the door, I look up from my corner and see Delly go answer, she opens it, screams and closes it again. _What was that?_ What could have made, Delly of all people, scream?

The people on the other side of the door keep pounding, and soon a fist is punched through the door. _WHAT?_

The hand unlocks the door and it opens up.

"WHERE IS HE?" Annie screams, Oh yeah! I forgot about her! _She is soo much better then Katniss! _I realize.

She has scissors! She starts running toward Delly and throws them at her face. Ohh, right in the eye.

"Annie! Remember what I said about running with scissors?" I laugh. She spots me and runs over and I hold her while she cries.

"Oh, Finnick! I have been so worried! I thought a whale ate you again! Come on, I'll get you home!" She says. Gosh I love her.

"Annie! I told you before, there was no whale, it was all in your head!" I laugh.

"Oh..."

"How did you get here?" I ask.

Then as I hug her closer, I see somebody else come in. Someone with fail-like qualities. _Failure!_

"I figured you deserved better then Delly, and honestly, you have been getting on my nerves, I figured, you brought me back so I could do the same!" He tells me.

"That was very...intelligent of you Fail-Uh, _Gale_." I correct, he smiles.

"Wow! You called me Gale!"

"Yeah, don't get used to it..." I tell him, but he is still smiling. I wipe it off with a punch.

"I think you should be going Finnick..."

"Yeah, thanks again Gale." I say.

"Anytime! Just kidding, get out of my District now! If you don't mind..." He glares. _Well!_

"Oh yeah, bye!" I say. I put my arm around Annie and we walk toward the train station, over to a coffin that we will hide in on the train back home.

_How romantic I am!_

**REVIEW PLEASE! I just love happy endings:)**


	40. Chapter 40

**Hello amazing readers! This is NOT the last chapter of the story but it is coming soon due to the fact that I got a week behind...curse that research paper! (I got and A though!) Here ya go!**

Dear Diary,

Katniss and I are perfect. Perfect perfect perfectly perfect perfection. Now that Finnick (angry glare) is out of here, there really is nothing to worry about! Just me and Katniss, and maybe the new pencil sharpener I got...I just doesn't work the way it's supposed to!

Oh yeah! And Delly! While I was making up with Katniss, she barged through the door with scissors attached to her face!

Sadly, Mrs. Everdeen was able to get them out, and Delly still has two eyes...what a shame. But she has to wear an eye-patch while her vision returns. She looks like a pirate!

-PEETA

* * *

><p><em>Delly Cartwright- Peeta! Have you seen the new guy in are math class? He JUST like Finnick! But I can legally date him! <em>

_Peeta Mellark-That's great! But...uh...why would he want to date you?_

_Delly Cartwright-He saw my eye-patch and feels sorry for me! The power of pity!_

_Peeta Mellark- Yay pity._

* * *

><p><em>Katniss Everdeen-Just caught a squirrel...in my backyard...yeah :)<em>

* * *

><p><strong>REVIEW! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Okay, sorry about this chapter I just wanted to post something today! I'm sooo excited! If you saw the movie, what did you think? (Spoilers are like drugs to me!)I haven't seen it but I will soon, either tomorrow or tonight:D I can't wait! This day will go down in history!<strong>


	41. Chapter 41

**I saw the movie! It was great! The fandom is just beginning so that means this story must be ending... This is the last chapter :'( But, I have made a point to try and make it longer! Please enjoy and REVIEW!**

Dear diary,

It has come to my attention that this is the last page! Sure, I could buy another diary, but I think this will be the last entry...You were manufactured into this world for a reason- to help me with my love life! Mission accomplished!

I will stop writing forever after this, diary. And the reason for this is because, well...I can't remember the letter that comes after 'p'... Eh, I'll figure it out.

I have my whole life ahead of me now! I will marry my Katniss, have 7 kids, and then give one of them my family's greatest heirloom, the plastic spork! Ah, how I can't wait to pass it down! And I shall follow my bucket list from their!

My Bucket List

Complete the cinnamon challenge

Create a new religion dedicated to Katniss

Own a marsupial zoo

Perfect my rock garden

Buy a life-time supply of socks

Give Mr. Raccoon a new girlfriend (Katniss kind of...shot his old one...)

Win a Harry Potter duel (One day Weet!)

Meet Finnick Odair...Oh wait.

Start a band

Play the electric triangle or possibly the pencil sharpener

Eat a bar of soap

Figure out whatever happened to Fail...

Speaking of...Gale, I have absolutely no idea what happened to him. I don't really care!

-PEETA

* * *

><p>"Yes, Peeta's kakorrhaphiophobia seams to be completely healed! He can be a normal now! As for your other sons..." The doctor says.<p>

"Oh yes I know... But it's gone? That's wonderful! Thank you so much! I was afraid he would never heal." He cries will joy.

"Anytime Mr. Mellark. It would appear that the cure has something to do with a recent accomplishment of his. The test results show that all stress has been vanquished from his mind! He can live know."

* * *

><p><em>Katniss<em>

Peeta isn't crazy, he's wonderful. I can't wait for this fanfiction to end so I can finally be with him without you eavesdroppers!

As for Gale, I told him to leave. Not the District! He now lives with his family in Madge's basement, they had an extra cell and told us we can have it. I don't have to worry about that anymore!

Peeta makes me happy, he isn't a stalker anymore! Well, at least not in the creepy way he used to be. I wouldn't want anything more then to buy him that life-time supply of socks he has been talking about.

* * *

><p><em>Katniss Everdeen- I love Peeta Mellark.<em>

_Peeta Mellark- FINALLY;)_

* * *

><p>THE END (For real this time!)<p>

**REVIEW! IT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE! I love how everyone get's a happy ending:) Katniss and Peeta together forever! Peeta will forever be superior in my mind, it's just the way I am:) I hope you enjoyed this parody, the response has been greater then I could have imagined! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!**


	42. Chapter 42

**Wow. I have no words. Over 1000 reviews? THANK YOU SOOO MUCH! And you guys left the greatest reviews too, they were so nice! You made me feel bad that I ended the story:(**

**Usually an auther is all like, "Oh there I so many people I want to thank for the success of this story but I can't possibly name them there is so many!" I am so determined to get all that I can. I apologize for all of the anonoymous reviewers, I thank you too, but your names won't be up here:(**

**I want to thank all 219 (!) people that put this story on there favorites list! Also want to thank the 184 (!) that put the story on there alerts, but that won't be up here either:) **

**So, a many thanks too...**

20 minutes **(Intill what?)**

AbigailyLuv

aihpomila

AirConditioning1678 **(I love air conditioning!)**

Alice Daughter of Athena

aliciakirwin

all I need 22

Allium Banner

alyssafrazier12

Amanda Katniss Granger

AnnaCVoy

april the girl who is on fire

ariathebrave

Artemis6634

Aurelei baby-new-year

Beautiful-Squidward **(Squidward is quite beautiful indeed;))**

Berry's Ambitions

berrynice12

Bianca666

blahblahblah97** (I envy your user name)**

BloomingRue

Blue Wrackspurts

Books4life12345

Bookworm600

brandy1119

Bread Boy and Fire Girl

Bright Lights and White Nights

BrokenYetDreaming

brooke13243546

captainspittlebug18

carmencielle

Cat Dracula **(sounds scary)**

charlieal12

Chloejomellark

Chynna-Pie

CountryBun

criminal-princess

Crystabella Thorne

D4Cannibal **(There are no words for this:D)**

DamnHyper

DamonsGirlx96x

Dance Elle Dance **(I love ellen! Or elle in this case!)**

DandelionOnFire

Daniela Keo

Darknesse Sidhe

DEDEBUG9

EcoSeeker247

Elisabeth Pine

Embrace-Your-Insanity **(Oh trust me I do! You read the story...)**

emilyroorose

Emipop123

emoHippy1

Erarya

FantasyIsLife

fauxpoefoes

FinnicksSugarCube **(Yes Finnick! I _would_ enjoy a suger cube!)**

fionagurls1301

fireeiscatching

FlyingTiger6599

ForeverTexas3

freakazoid123

Gimjamjelly

Girl On Fire Lillibet Norris

GizzyGirl **:)**

grednforgesgirl

greenperegrine

gymnasticaddict333

harryxpotterxforxever

Hello Kitty 12345679

HungerGamesFanatic 8D

HungerGamesLover1020

hungergamestribute67

HungerMazePotter

I Write Sins Not Tragidies

I'm Me End Of Story **(Amen!)**

i-am-foxface

IAmTheMockingJay91

ifelloffmaadinosaaur** (Oh no!)**

iitg22

iluv2read12

ilypeeta

Intelligent Goddess 371

IwillAKyou **(I have a feeling that that K stands for something scary like...kangaroo! Ahh!)**

jaa162

James018

Jedi Aayla

Johnbeerius

just another capitol slave **(Good for you!)**

K4RL33

Katlynpoops

Katniss Everedeen

KatnissElizabeth333

KatnissMellark12

KatnissWriter

KiraSabino

kittyandstars

Konstantine483

kopycat101

krazygurl543210

kryan19

L345

Lady Rainbow 2251

LauraSaurusRex

Legacygal

Little Dark Dynamite

LizTheBookNerd **(Aren't we all:))**

love-peeta-always

loveu5missu6

Lukypingi

Lumolumo

Luna Locura

Madison Mellark

madskellington

Malteer247

Margot Willows

MariiaKaroliina

marisa123

Matthew1995

memberofWLM

missloquaciouswriter

MissRandomGal

missrunner2016

Mizuno-kun

MKAlza11

Mocking Verse

Mockingjay7789

Mockingjay99

Musicislife2727

Mustaches **(If only I could grow one...)**

Natalia1129

niegel22

ninalasvegas

No namer44

NuclearSquirrel

NyanToTheCat

Oblivious to the obvious

OCWarren

Olivia5k5

OwlMist

Pauli3

PazzSkittles

Peacegirl12345678910

Peeta 4eva

peetamellarkxstar4163

PenguinGirl526

PenMySword

PhoebusFortens

PieSaysHi **(And I say hi PieSaysHI)**

PotterJackson

PresleyMellark

primrose77

purpleboo

QueenCynder

QueenOfSwordsAndFire

quintupledots915

Rachel and Peeta

RadiantAsTheSun

Rainfeather97

Reni Readiris

RL7-42

Rose Hunter

RUE ORIOLE

Sallen

sapphiremage1106

sarah is magic

Sasuke likes waffles **(I also enjoy a good waffle)**

Scarlett R

SceneQueen16

scottymakura

seastar97

sheepfluff1

SilensFlos

Silver Shadows of the Night **(Spooky...)**

Skylar Bane

SoulxMakaLover97

SoupieLuv

spazzyjazzi843

Speedpowertalent

SportzDawg **(I think it's spelled d-o-g, jk jk:))**

sunnydayz111

sunshinemeg82

Sweet Air **(We could live without it!)**

sweetlittlething

Taffeh.

talonxdreamer

tawnyangel

teacherannie

TeamGlimmer

TeamPeetaandKatniss

teampeetaforever

The Black Rosette

The girl in the purple sweater **(My sweater is orange!)**

TheHungerGamesWriter

The-Daughter-of-Rome

The-Teeny-And-Amazing-Abby

..Again **(For some reason my computer won't let me type your full name, so uhhh. Sorry bout dat)**

TheAUWalker

TheBigO15

TheBoyWithTheSnares

TheHungerGamesWriter

TheSandtail

TheSilencedSiren

TheWhiteLightsaber

ThornyRoseIsTrue

TiffanyMann

TogetherWeCanFly

ToriDreamer01

TotalZayaGirl14

TwilightLove100

TwinkleLights123

X Sherry X

x3lovelikethisx3

xXAirborn Clockwork LockdownxX

xXRedPokerGirlxX

xXT00nT0wn789Xx

Yaya The Elf

**An extra special thanks to BurnDownPanem, for being my very first reviewer! If I missed you or misspelled your user name please let me know!**

**Also, for those of you who read on Miss Literati, a person with the user name "Twicked" reposted this story, word for word with the authors notes and everything:( THAT IS NOT ME! No matter what they say! But whatever gets the story out there...:)**

**Thank you again to the wonderful people that reviewed, faved, EVERYTHING! I will have many more parodies to come, but not for a little while;)**

**~ (hehe, squigly) **


	43. Chapter 43

**Hey everyone! Its been a while...I would just like to inform you guys that I am in a very very very very very very early process of re-writing this story! I probably won't start updating untill the summer...but I will be doing it nonetheless. But that is not the only reason I have updating this story!**

**Everyday I continue to get emails with reviews, favorite alerts and all of that fun stuff. It makes me so happy to know people are still enjoying this story long after it ended! So I decided to update that list of people who have favorited my story! **

**There is now 1,412 reviews!? Also, 352 favorites, and 193 alerts! THANK YOU! And...(get ready folks) 166,116 views? Whaaaaat? That's so awesome! This story was also mentioned in the Muttation podcast as Fanfic Pic of the week! So a shout out to those guys! I love that podcast!**

**Sidenote- So so so so so so sory about the extreme lack of updating on my other story:(**

**Okay, time to end this extremely lond authors note:)**

**THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! I READ AND APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE ONE!**

**And thank you to those who favorited;) Here we go...**

20 minutes

112charlie112

143mindlessgurl

Agent Artemis

AirConditioning1678

Alexa S. Blaze

Alice Daughter of Athena

AliceRose Loves to HUG

Alionh

AlligatorEquinox

Allium Banner

Alos-kun

Always April Doll

Am3thyst

Amanda Katrice Granger

AnnaCVoy

AnnieOdesta

AreYouGame

Arikari

Auregal

Autumnmissa

Azn-Wemo

BeWhoYouAre99

Beautiful-Squidward

BeeAncaAnnette

Berry's Ambitions

Berrynice

Bianca666

Blairx6661

BlazeStar4163

BloomingRue

BlueAngel7410

Books4life12345

Bookworm7789

Brahian

Bread Boy and Fire Girl

Bright Lights and White Nights

BrokenYetDreaming

BuffyandSpikelover

Caeli Quaedem

CannibleDuckWithAnAxe4

Casper The Cheerleader

Chi Yagami

ChloeJoMusic

Chocolicius

Chynna-Pie

CrazyObsessedVampireGirl

Crystabella Thorne

DONOTCONTACTTHISACCOUNT

DamnHyper

Darknesse Sidhe

Digital Insanity

Dizzyy

Doodle God

Dorko37

EcoSeeker247

Eliptical

Emipop123

Eternal Klaine

Everlark4ever

EvilIAm

F. Celeste

FanFictionUser123789

FantasyIsLife

FinnickEnjoysSugarCubes

FinnicksSugarCube

FireBreadandSnares

FlyingTiger99

FlyingTiger6599

ForeverTexas3

Friendly Neighborhood Stalker

FutureSailor

Gabiie T

Gimjamjelly

GinaGeo

Girl On Fire Lillibet Norris

Gryffindork101

HelloKitty2000

HereTheDaisysGuardYou

Humbly Gone Away

HungerGames1

HungerGamesLover1020

HungerMazePotter

I'm Me End Of Story

IAmTheMockingJay91

IAmTheMockingjay1

ILovePeetaMellark1998

I Write Sins Not Tragidies

IWriteStuffWithWordsInIt

ImagineTheWorldWicked

Intelligent Goddess 371

IwillAKyou

Izzyandstuff

JHutch201x

James018

Jawsome

Jedi Aayla

JennLawrence Luvv

JesssMellark

Jlovegood

Jodiiee

Johnbeerius

Juicy Pear

June Bell

KBerry

Katlynpoops

KatnissElizabeth333

Katniss Everedeen

KatnissMellark12

KatnissWriter

KiraSabino

Kitalene Crimson

KkasumiC

Konstantine483

Kurt Fearella

L345

LadyAnnabellaRose

Lady Rainbow 2251

LarryJamesMalik

Laughinggirl147

Legacygal

LetThemEatLlamas

Lexicon04

Little Clover13

Little Dark Dynamite

LiveForMex3

Lost and Insecure You Found Me

Lukypingi

Lumolumo

Luna Locura

Madge Underrsee

Madison Mellark

Malteer247

Manibear96

MaraudersFredandGeorge4life

Margot Willows

MariiaKaroliina

Matthew1995

MeganLovesHelloKitty69

Meggie Wood

MisplacedMarauder

Mizuno-kun

Mockingjay99

Lautner

Mrs. Scotty McCreery

MusicPiglet

Musicislife2727

Mustaches

My Squishy

Nicole Kinney

Nikara Battleclaw

No namer44

NotSoSuper23

NyanToTheCat

OCWarren

Oblivious to the Obvious

Olivia5k5

OwlMist

Paige Mellark-Lynch

Pauli3

PazzSkittles

Peace-Luv-Sherry

Peacegirl12345678910

Pechay

Peeta-Chu1

Peeta 4eva

Peetabread 3

Peeta loves me

PenMySword

PenguinGirl526

Pestering Hippo 96

PhoebusFortens

PieSaysHi

PotterJackson

PurpleBoo

Purple Diamond78

PurpleNinjaTori

QueenOfSwordsAndDaggers

RL7-42

Rachel and Peeta

RadiantAsTheSun

Rainfeather97

Reni Readiris

RoseBelikov232

Rue99

RustyEskimo28

SAM313

Sallen

SassySunshine

Sasuke likes waffles

Scattered Bronze

SeptemberSapphire4eva

Silver Shadows of the Night

Skillable

SoulxMakaLover97

SoupieLuv

Speedpowertalent

Stunningfire

Sweet Air

Taffeh A. Llama

TeamEdwardUntilIdie

TeamGlimmer

TeamPeeniss4Eva

TeamPeetaandKatniss

Terra Rue

That0neFreak

The-Daughter-of-Rome

. .Again

TheAUWalker

The Big Hosepipe in the Sky

The Black Rosette

TheBoyWithTheSnares

The Fangirliest Fangirl

TheHungerGames321

TheHungerGamesWriter

TheInsanityThatHidesWithin

The Knife In Your Side

The Mockingjays Flames

TheMonsterWithinMe

The Phantom Mockingjay

TheSPARKinMe

TheSilencedSiren

The girl in the purple sweater

ThornyRoseIsTrue

ThoughtBubble101

Thynerdgurl

TogetherWeCanFly

ToriDreamer01

Torygirl

TotalZayaGirl14

TwilightLove100

VampiresAllTheWay1

VampiresLoveSteakCakes

Vera Claire

WhiteLightersEatCookies

Whosaidblondescan'tread

WindyDayOutside

Wisdom's Daughter Alone

XoANNIEoX

XxLost in DarknessxX

XxLoveWafflesXx

XxaznninjaxX

Yaya The Elf

YouLoveMeAlways

aliciakirwin

all I need 22

alyssafrazier12

ariathebrave

baby-new-year

.3975

blahblahblah97

brandy1119

brooke13243546

candyapple5399

captainspittlebug18

carmencielle

cassi1904

charlieal12

chickenchessy

coadhpgg

cookies95

craziestcrayoninthebox

criminal-princess

dancingqueen23

danielcraigtho007

destroy this city of delusion

dewdrops and crowns

drea29

eiffeltower16

elizmoon71

emoHippy1

faithindestiny

fantasyfanatic95

fauxpoefoes

fionagurls1301

fireeiscatching

freakazoid123

girlonfire68

girlsonfire

greenperegrine

gymnasticaddict333

hilbo9

hopelesswinnie

hungerBMAMgames

hungergamestribute67

i-am-foxface

iLoveTHG

iLoveTheMellarks

ifelloffmaadinosaaur

iitg22

i love jhutch

iluv2read12

ilypeeta

iridescent bookworm

jaa162

jpicardi14

kat4361

katnisseverdeen123890

kitkatkrunch

kittyandstars

kopycat101

kryan19

lollipopskii

love-peeta-always

loveu5missu6

lovingchoco

lucie17

madskellington

memberofWLM

missloquaciouswriter

missrunner2016

muffins24

ninjamonkey112

pandahero204

peetamellark7475

poohsticks

primrose77

quintupledots915

rinarose01824

rjawadx3

rochay97

rosevioletsmile123

sapphiremage1106

sarah is magic

scottymakura

seastar97

sheepfluff1

sock-feet-and-stirring-sand

srslyjulia

steenta112

sunnydayz111

sweetlittlething

tallvious

talonxdreamer

tanuta

tawnyangel

teacherannie

teampeetaforever

thisisnoplaceforagirlONfire

twwbw

with love- april and hannah

x3lovelikethisx3

xXGrayGuitar14Xx

xXbellarunawayxX

xxDeadInsidexx

xxPaige23xx

zorro198966


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